Speaking of Justice, there was a huge outcry from the pubic when Mike and Carolyn Black decided NOT to name their
brand new boychild “Cash.” This name, tauntingly offered up just hours after the birth by the proud and slightly visionary father, has been supplanted by the cute but less hip “Anthony.” Given that he springs from the genetic pool of Mr. Black, this is probably a reasonable solution to keep him from becoming some sort of unbearable chick-magnet. Naming his Cash Black would just be stacking the cards against so many sixteen-year-old girls it would be plainly unfair. Plus Anthony is what you name a guy who might break your legs with a softball bat. That’s Caroyln’s side of the family.
Some would say that Ainsely Claire Owens would be a candidate to for the young Mr. Black, but we here at the Daily B-Squad remain skeptical. Though she was born just a few hours before young Almost-Cash-Black, she comes with the rock solid good looks of her Mom and the genuine confused disposition of her Dad. The Owens are adjusting to their lives as new parents, but the Dogs alas are not doing so well. No longer number one(s). They are happy about all the new toys to play with, so that is an upside.
Right after the season ended Chris and Holly Krushel-Koishel (pronounced “Crushel-Crushel”) added another athlete to
the roster at their house. Young Xander Krushel-Koishel joins his older brother Giles in being named after the award-winning and critically acclaimed television program Buffy the Vampire Slayer. (Sound of Carolyn Black gasping in admiration and wondering why she didn’t name the new boychild Riley.) Word is that the he is already pretty good at martial arts and cynical comments.
Another small B-Squad progeny is kicking some butt–young Erin Weness. As y’all may remember, Erin was born with a fairly serious heart condition around Christmas time last year. I’m happy to report that she’s had two successful operations this year and is gaining weight and doing well. At least well enough to be pictured with her brother and a pumpkin. You can catch up on Erin’s progress at her blog. Jeff reports to be doing fine and looking forward to attending at least a few games in 2007.
Charles Decker, on the other hand, is likely to miss a few games in 2007. Not because he married Lynn Bronson in the off
season in a ceremony so intimate and meaningful that the B-Squad was not invited and I was not asked to technically “marry” the new couple. No, Charles will be missing a few games (this is my speculation, not his, but I know better) because he and Lynn are expecting a new baby just weeks before the season starts. 
While this reporter couldn’t be happier on this news, particularly the ongoing association with his former colleague “Bronson-Matic,” it is my contractual obligation as Vice President of Softball Operations to point out that the timing is inconvenient to the start of softball season. Folks–let’s not be so romantic in the offseason!
This would have been a good reminder for the Keekleys. Not only is Keeks putting another entire floor on his house, he’s going to fill that floor with yet another Keekley child. This second and so-called “Ultimate” Keekley is due to arrive just around the time we’ll be suiting up in our new uniforms for another softball game. I think that is game three. And in an effort to make sure that his life is as complicated as possible, Tom is cutting the roof off his house and putting another whole building up there. Some kind of sporting complex for the kids.
Zin’s not having anymore kids and that should be great for his softball schedule. The details of this include a really painful, embarrassing and funny story that features an interesting biology lesson. I would suggest you get him to tell you when George is around so that George can draw you a picture of his own kidney which looks like a twisted horse shoe. He insists that this is critcally important.
Speaking of twisted, that’s exactly how Tommy Burrell’s face looked when I first caught up with him at the hospital the other day. He was experiencing tremendous discomfort, or what you at home might call “pain” because in an unsanctioned
moment of non-softball related sport activity (rollerblading!) he fell and pulled the bone that holds his arm onto his body (“the shoulder”) fully away from the socket that it belongs in. It appears there is a large group of muscles there that are intended to hold said arm in place and they didn’t take kindly to Tommy moving things around. His face was much less twisted a few minutes later when the nurse brought him some more morphine. But several weeks later when he was again playing something other than softball (hockey!) he found that twisted-face-feeling by pulling that arm out of its socket again. I’ve been promised (!) this won’t impact his performance at first base. “Even if I’m a drooling invalid, I’ll be there!” he promised. Then he passed out from the pain.
Pain has been the buzzword for Dave O who learned that being a “classics” major who loves “books” is extraordinarily hard on your back when you move to a new house. That being said, he and Phoebe love living next to Gary who keeps to himself with the exception of coming over to borrow tin foil every once in a while. Keith thought he would experience pain when his daughter turned her hair pink, but in the end he just got tired and irritable. And of course everyone feels the pain of it being freaky cold and having no immediate hope for the glories of a new softball season.
Have no fear! The Burrell-Middendorfs are planning to host the after-the-season party. Rumor is that it will be in January and I for one can’t wait. If you can’t wait, feel free to ease your pain by brushing through the B-Squad archives. I can also recommend the new Good Commies video “Rivers” which makes the cold weather look kind of fun in a strange sort of way.
Dang. That’s some big freakin’ news for a bunch of washed-up bums and their super hot/athletic husbands.
Tommy B – the B stands for Brittle.
big brown building
Hey- some people have children, others just try to BE children. Next year I expect to put my eye out with an air rifle.