Lets face it, the odds are stacked against the B-Squad, even in this hopeful season of politics and the upcoming Olympics.
For one, we aren’t getting any younger, for one thing. We aren’t backfilling the roster with jittery Gen-Y text messaging home run hitting who are dropped off by their helicopter parents. So we age at least one year for every year that goes by, some of us are aging slightly faster than that.
And now the economy is in shambles and I’m sorry to report but the icy hand of creeping prices has grasped an E-League softball and tossed it through the front window of the Minneapolis Parks and Recreation offices. They’ve coming looking for someone to pay for all the broken glass and there is rumblings of a lawsuit for emotional pain and suffering. League fees are going up up up up up, to play in this town you must be tough tough tough tough tough tough.
Now some of you may wonder if the title “Vice President of Softball Operations” is just something made up to make me feel important. You’ve heard me deflect any actual responsibilities, especially when they come to providing actual guidance on playing the game at hand in a either a general (it’s called softball!) or specific (don’t hurt yourself!) manner. So you probably think VPSO is a decorative designation like “BI Consultant.”
You’d be right, mind you, with the exception of a few actual duties including corresponding with the officials in order to maintain our team’s place on the schedule. This year that correspondence happened almost entirely through the electronic media and therefore I am able to include some actual detail from my work on the behalf of you, the softball team.
Scott-
The fees for the league keep climbing! What do you think about coming up with a tiered pay structure based on how much you win? It only seems fair that the teams with more wins should pay more than those of us that struggle game in and game out. Someone might say this is un-American but I would reply: look at the tax code! We give huge tax breaks to people who are just making ends meet. Plus I know the other teams enjoy playing us because we are fun and they usually win. They should be willing to chip in for that kind of entertainment.So if you agree let me know what kind of reduction you think is fair and I’ll pass on the word to the fine folks at Dustys. I’m worried they might be cranky about how much the fee keeps increasing, so any consideration is appreciated.
Jim
aka Bricker
To which Mr. Scott (or as I like to call him “the man”) replied:
Jim,
Thanks for the email and the ideas. While I like it and see your rationale I don’t think I could get that one to fly. As far as the fees I realize that they have increased but I still believe that we are one
of the cheapest around. Here is the way you sell it $400 divide by 15 players is about $27 per player divide that by 12 games and that less than $2.00 per game!
So there you have it folks. Another 30% price increase being sold with fancy math and polite words. I would say that we take our softball and go home but then we’d be at home with a softball and that isn’t much fun. Plus, Dusty’s will no doubt pick up the difference–though they might pass it through in beer prices.
If the B-Squad proves anything it proves that the little guy can’t get a break. So let’s go out and prove it again, though this time I want to see a little more of that fielding and hitting stuff I’ve been reading so much about. Below is a quick video to inspire you, the softball players…GAME ON!
bsq08 preview from Jim Bernard on Vimeo.
That damn fancy math and polite words!
I love the video.
When is fan appreciation night? And don’t call and tell me it’s tomorrow on some random day this year.
Perhaps scheduling fan appreciation night isn’t part of the Vice President of Softball Operations responsibilities. If that is the case, please let me know the appropriate bureaucrat to speak with. Malibar?
That’s an interesting angle you’ve come up with… In the end it’s a bit of a reverse bet if the winning teams are subsidizing the teams that are, ahem, more victory challenged. Like “you won, pay up buddy.”
But I agree that seems like a heck of a rate if you add it up. If you multiply 400 by the number of teams have they ever said where the money goes?
Jim:
Just like the recent transportation bill, I think this is another great example of a problem that, if you throw money at it, goes away. I will, therefore, be bringing you $2 every time I show up for a game to defray the costs of keeping me on the team. Go Hoyas!
Lou asks “Where does the money go?” …. well, Mr. Not Paying Attention, you might consider who paid for the field grooming and bathroom cleaning the next time you’re up at Marshall Terrace. And I don’t have to remind you that we are one of the few teams with the honor of playing at a site that sounds like an upper-class condo development. Put that on your dago with some peppers and onions and extra cheese, and some Dave’s Nuts … and … and … Zzzzzzzzzzz.
as the resident BI Consultant, let me share with you some important phrases I’ve used to get through 10 years of BI Consulting, yielding billings in the high dozens of dollars. Perhaps this will help by way of motivation.
“Just because you can, doesnt mean you should.”
“I think the computer is busted”
“You did WHAT?”
“Anyone know any good websites with tasteful pictures of Miho Yoshioka?”
“Did I just say what I think I just said?”
Billy did it.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/81/Billy_Joel_-_Glass_Houses.jpg
This “pay based on performance” idea intrigues me. Will we be adopting it at the team level? I certainly wouldn’t object to having my jersey/hat/what-have-you subsidizied by Shag, Keekley, et al.