1. There is a strategic game “plan” which is drawn up by the Sportsmen’s central organizer who calls himself a “manager.” He provides advice and guidance throughout the game to the other players.

2. Sportsmen track intra-game performance using an elaborate set of charts and graphs which gauge not only the hits achieved and runs scored but also the hydration levels of the players expressed in ounces of liquid consumed. They have a small lab set up behind the bench to carefully measure everything going in and out of the players.

3. Sportsmen carefully choose adjectives to precisely describe the circumstances during the game. When Sportsmen says “good” job you can take that to the bank.

4. Sportsmen sprinkles performance enhancing pixie dust on his bats between each inning and mutters what appears to be a prayer of some sort.

5. The third base coach, like your pinky toe, is totally unnecessary. Sportsmen play without a third base coach to guide traffic, but this appeared to have little impact on play and performance.

6. Sportsmen includes Sportswomen, or perhaps more accurately, Sportsgirls. These players, under the careful guidance of their father, were able to participate fully in the game though they did not seem to enjoy it very much.

7. Sportsmen shake hands with each other in recognition of their collaboration in the softball sport. This brings them great joy.

8. Sportsmen has healthy respect for his athletic adversaries and showed no disrespect to the B-Squad. In fact, Sportsmen constructed a large B out of old softballs next to the bench and was very careful to step around the installation during the game.

9. Sportsmen dispersed suddenly after the game in many directions without ceremony or ritual. One second he was there, the next he was gone, gone, gone.